How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
In today’s modern age, it can be difficult to find inner peace and calm. Advances in technology have, of course, made life easier and more convenient. However, this comes at a price. With more access to daily news cycles, social media, and rapid communication, we are exposed to higher levels of criticism and negative energy.
Mean-spirited individuals are nothing new. Especially since Gaslighting is a favorite tactic for these types Still, as we use cellphones and other advanced devices, these types of people can bring additional harm to our psyche at any point in the day. If you are dealing with mean people in your life, online or offline, this can be extremely stressful.
The toxic behavior of the surrounding people can affect our mental and physical health. So, you want to learn how to cope with this and stop worrying as much. In his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie went over some great tips for dealing with stressful people and life situations. His writings were drafted in a completely different time. However, his work can still be applied to the modern age.
We’ll talk about some of his advice here in this article. We won’t go over the entire book, be we will discuss tips that might be pertinent to your life, and can help you really start living. This way, you can move on from toxic people and live worry-free!
Top Ways to Deal with Mean People and Stop Worrying:
- Stop Giving Mean People Your Time and Energy.
At the beginning of his book, Carnegie talks about putting a stop-loss on areas of your life that give you anxiety, stress, and sadness. What he meant by this is that you should stop over analyzing and thinking about what is going wrong in your life. Instead, you need to decide on how you will handle your situation.
For instance, if you only think about why a person is mean to you or why they keep harassing you through text or on social media, nothing will change. According to Carnegie, we need to act. Set limits on what you are willing to deal with. In addition, don’t give energy or time to people that are hurting you by thinking about them all day. Either tell them to stop treating you a certain way or cut ties.
- Rethink Criticism.
Sometimes, though, you can’t always cut ties with certain people. This could be the case with family members or spouses. In this situation, you have to learn how to reframe criticism or ignore it completely. This isn’t easy to do, but Carnegie also had some advice on this point.
He stated, that we can all think critically about what is being said to us. So, we have to analyze other’s opinions. Ask yourself is someone’s words constructive or completely off the mark. If someone is saying something that can help you grow, consider their words. Remember you are human; you make mistakes and you can learn and grow.
If they are just being plain mean, then ignore them. It can be hard to do this at first, but you have to realize that most people are only being mean and saying negative things to make themselves feel better. Attention seekers are still around and jealousy abounds today just as it did yesterday.
- Realize You Can Only Control Your Reactions.
Moving on to the next topic of advice from Carnegie’s book we will talk about how you can better handle criticism. Unfortunately, you won’t always be able to control how people talk to you, or what they think about you as a person. People are mean for all sorts of reasons. Remember too you cannot control their hate or their love.
Carnegie says throughout his book that it’s best not to spend extra time dwelling on these people and their comments. Instead, you need to take control of your reactions to people and their words.
It can seem unfair, but this is the best way to live a worry-free and happy life. If you don’t give mean people the reaction they want, they won’t get any pleasure out of belittling or hurting you.
- Don’t Get Even with Others.
To be more specific, though, you want to stop yourself from stooping down to another person’s level. Mean people want to see you mad and want you to be unhappy. So, when you try to get even, you are only playing into their hands. According to Carnegie, the best way to win with a mean person is to not react. In short, set boundaries but don’t enact vengeance on people that are undeserving of your attention.
- Focus on the Positives and be Grateful.
Towards the end of his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Carnegie offers some final advice for readers. He talks about staying positive and being grateful. This can seem cliché or course. However, in any situation and in any time period, having gratitude and focusing on the positive can transform your life.
When you start looking at what you do have in your life, it is easier to tune out the people that are cruel to you. Really, there are always going to be mean people in our lives. Recognize that someone and their words aren’t worth your time. But knowing when to shut these people done and ignore them is important. In today’s age you can block or delete or walk away. Power down your phone for a while. Words hurt, this is true, but you matter and you need to take care of yourself.