I have lied to you since the very beginning.
I told you stories of soulmate, love everlasting, and forever happiness because I needed your attention, adoration, and admiration. I cannot exist without supply, whether it comes from you, my exes, or my next victims.
This is my disorder, the path of no empathy, no ability to truly love anyone, that I have chosen for myself.
In your eyes, I greedily soaked up the love you offered so generously. For a short while, I even tried to convince myself that this time, l’d found my eternal happiness. I cannot.
Unfortunately, everything I showed to you, everything I said to you, was purely my manipulation. You were idealized, but, like everyone before you, I soon started to hate you. With the same hatred I feel towards myself and everyone else.
But I could not let you go without tormenting you. Yes, I gaslighted, blame-shifted, cheated, gave you silent treatments, ghosted, used and abused you. I was compelled because by devaluing you, I felt superior.
If you believe my Narc story that you are to blame, it’s not true. Everything is my fault. I am a disordered person. I will do this to my next victim because I will NEVER STOP.
My advice to you? Never allow me to come back into your life. You are beautiful, kind, empathic and truly deserving of true love. Find someone who will value you.
I’m not good for me, for you, or for anyone.
You cannot change me.
Your gift to yourself is to forget me and move on. Sincerely,