How to React to Toxic Relatives.

How to react to toxic relatives.

When dealing with difficult relatives, it is vital to establish your personal boundaries. This will allow you to identify when your boundaries are being crossed and respond accordingly. You have two options when your boundaries are crossed: disengage or confront the issue directly. It is important to note that confronting the issue directly can be a more volatile option.

A common trait of toxic family members is their desire to engage with you, almost as if they enjoy it. Hint, they probably do

“Give yourself permission to say, ‘Hey, I feel angry or resentful, and I need to talk about this,'” licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, L.P., previously suggested to mindbodygreen


And recognize that no matter how the conversation goes, you can only control your actions.


It’s important to remember that even if a family member reacts in a toxic way, you have control over how you respond. According to Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT, it’s crucial to empower yourself and take control of your own actions, thoughts, and behaviors. If someone tries to blame you or make you feel inferior, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s their issue, not yours.

How to overcome a toxic family:


Set boundaries.

To overcome toxic dynamics within a family, it’s important to establish your own boundaries and hold them firmly. This is something that can be achieved more easily as an adult than as a child. Often, when we grow up in families with toxic Sometimes, we find ourselves repeating the same emotional patterns we had in childhood. It can be challenging to realize that we are now adults, and we have the power to set boundaries.


Self-empowerment is another critical aspect of boundary setting. Setting a boundary is not just saying, “Hey, Mom, don’t call me while I’m at work.” Instead, it’s more like “If you call me during the workday, I won’t pick up.” Similarly, instead of saying, “Can you not bring up politics around me?” you would say, “I will not participate in political conversations.”


The difference here is that the boundary is a clear directive, rather than a question. It’s enforced by your actions rather than waiting for others to change.

When you’re living in a self-empowered place, toxic family dynamics will have that much less of an effect on you.


Seek outside help.

Unpacking toxic family dynamics can be a very complicated and deep-rooted issue that may require professional help. It is perfectly normal to seek help in such cases. It is best to find and consult with a professional therapist who can help identify and address toxic behaviors. Often, people with toxic relationships within a family or with someone toxic, may not be able to recognize them as normal. A therapist can help you identify such toxic patterns, understand how they are affecting you, and teach you how to deal with them. You can also learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, which is crucial for your well-being.


Last but not least, changing a family may not be possible overnight.  You can either just try to put up with things as they are, being able to accept it for what it is will take some of that mental burden off.


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