Overcoming a Rocky Start in Life by Sheila Robinson-Kiss, MSW, LCSW,

Overcoming a Rocky Start in Life by Sheila Robinson-Kiss, MSW, LCSW

Nature has a lot to teach us about resilience.

KEY POINTS

  • A mother octopus will routinely eat her own arm for more sustenance to care for her babies.
  • Many a man has lost a bright future because of the insistence on gripping a dimly lit past.
  • By standing up and calming down, we can find solutions to heal and save ourselves.

Some people are just born into unlucky circumstances. It’s a good thing that the card deck of life is constantly being shuffled and reshuffled. The odds can turn, and favor you, at any given time. A chilly beginning does not mean you have to live your life in the deep freezer.

Take note. Someone always had it worse than you.

A mere 12 days after birth, a baby is abandoned on a cold slab of ice to fend for himself for eight weeks. Could you live through it? Some 70 percent of harp seals have been doing that for thousands of years. Momma gives her babies 12 days of care, and she is off to go mate again. If they can survive for eight weeks after losing half their body weight, only then are they mature enough to swim and start hunting for their own food. It seems a cold-blooded move, but it takes all kinds in nature.

A mother octopus will routinely eat her own arm for more sustenance to care for her babies. After she gives birth, she often dies. A human being can reach full developmental maturity and remain on the homestead being fed and cared for. If the same man or woman were an elephant, the party would be over by age 2.

If you are among the millions who had a rocky start, and you are waiting for your parents or anyone else to rescue you from a state of resentment and sadness, please note this and note it well: They’re Not Coming.

Polar bears eat their cubs when there is no food around. Be grateful that you didn’t wind up a snack for your Mom and go claim your life. You are more than who and where you came from. The start of a story is only one page in a very long book. Ultimately your parents are vessels that are designed to support you for a certain space of time and no different than a Boeing 747 carrying precious cargo from London to Japan. If the ride is bumpy, the precious cargo may get damaged. That said, a diamond has value even if scrapped, chipped, and covered in mud. Furthermore, the diamond is owned by the creator of the plane, not the pilot. God is the Creator. You belong to the Creator. Period.

We have unconsciously done a disservice to the men, women, and children, who have suffered the duress of a neglectful and abusive childhood. We suggest that they are wounded animals to be pitied because of existing in or enduring harsh conditions while coming of age. When war heroes return home after a long weary battle, we meet them with celebrations and parades in the street. They are considered victorious survivors who have earned a badge of honor for valor on the battlefield, and rightfully so. I suggest that we bring the same spirit of enthusiasm and empowerment to the lives of the men, women, and children who have been scarred by the emotional wounds of ill-equipped parents and yet go on to lead brilliant lives of warmth and contributions to humanity.

Many a man has lost a bright future because of the insistence on gripping a dimly lit past. If your childhood broke you, it only means you have work to do—no different than a plumber fixing a busted pipe, or a mechanic repairing a faulty engine.

We can find ourselves living in the illusion of our own creation.

 

A woman thought she was drowning in the ocean. She began to kick and scream, “Oh Dear Lord, I’m going under.” She panicked and did just that. When the lifeguard jumped in to save her, he said, “Ma’am, if you’ll just calm down and stand up, you’ll see you’re drowning in three tiny feet of water.”

By standing up and calming down we can find solutions to heal and save ourselves.

Reprinted with Permission

Read More: Why Do We Seek the Approval of Those Who Don’t Value Us?

Overcoming a Rocky Start in Life by Sheila Robinson-Kiss, MSW, LCSW,Excerpted from the book, They’re Not Coming, by Sheila Robinson-Kiss, MSW, LCSW.

Sheila Robinson-Kiss, MSW, LCSW,

is a therapist and mental health educator leading the Rebalancing America and Beyond Initiative.

Online:

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This article appeared in Psychology Today
May 20, 2021

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