A Stranger Called Me a Slut and It Opened My Eyes By Anja Vojta, MSc

A Stranger Called Me a Slut and It Opened My Eyes By Anja Vojta, MSc

If you think your body is all you have to offer, this one is for you.

A Stranger Called Me a Slut and It Opened My Eyes By Anja Vojta, MSc
Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

This article is not to slut-shame any woman out there. As a self-proclaimed feminist, I believe that everyone should wear what they want to, whenever they want to. Yet, my goal is to empower you to question your decisions and find your true, loving self.

This is my story. But you can learn a lot about your own inner beliefs from it. What is your true intention behind wearing what you wear?

A Random Guy Called Me a Slut and He Was Right

It was Friday night and I was invited to a housewarming party. As usual, it took around 2 hours to get ready. I squeezed myself into tight jeans and a black lace crop top with low cleavage. My tiny face was covered in make-up.

As the night went on, I found myself sitting at the kitchen desk with my best friend and a guy I had just met. We had a random chat when all of a sudden he said shamelessly:

“Sweety, you just dress like a slut. Why are you doing this to yourself?”

I was completely in shock. I only knew such brutal honesty from myself. I pretended not to care but I was frozen inside, I couldn’t even say anything or defend myself. I think deep down I knew the following: he just hit the sweet spot.

A Painful Self-Discovery Journey Followed

If you’ve been reading some of my other articles you know it’s not the first time someone is commenting on my all-too-sexy appearance. But for some reason, this time, something inside of me cracked.

So I sat down and journaled and tried to answer some questions: Why did these words hurt so much this time? Do all people think this of me? Why can’t I dress sexy AF? Why do I dress sexy AF?

After a few hours, I had a light-bulb moment:

He was right. I dress like a slut. And I do so because I think my body is all I have to offer.

Until now, I thought that I had dressed sexy because I considered myself a good-looking woman. This day, I learned that the opposite was true: I actually didn’t like myself and my body at all and that is why I dressed so sparsely.

If this sounds weird to you now, let me explain:

I didn’t dress sexy because I was proud of my curves and wanted to highlight them. I did it because I thought showing off my body was the only way any guy out there will desire me and think I am lovable. I thought if I can’t offer a good body, I have nothing else to offer. I thought I am not good enough.

The part I hated the most about me paradoxically became the only part I thought was worthy of love.

You can already guess what this mindset led to: I was only attracting guys who wanted to sleep with me. Men, who only wanted my body and didn’t care about my brain. Men, who thought that I dress like a slut so obviously I am only “good enough” for sex and nothing else.

I got what I had internalized myself. You attract what you think you are. You attract what you think you deserve. Realizing this was painful.

I never understood why some women could wear a turtleneck sweater and no make-up, yet radiate such magnetism and sexual energy. I now did: They truly loved themselves, no matter what they were wearing. And they reflected their inner belief to the outside world.

What Is Your Intention Behind Wearing What You Wear?

Although I sometimes wish the stranger had used more gentle words, it might not have led to the same result.

Today, five years later, I still like to dress sexy. But I do it for completely different reasons: I love my body and myself. I love to unleash my feminine side and take ownership of all facets of my body. At times, I love to feel sexy and juicy just for myself. But I can also walk into a club in a boring day outfit and feel like a goddamn goddess.

If there’s one thing I learned, it’s the following: The way you dress can tell you a lot about your toxic inner belief system. It might seem obvious, but if you really go deeper there’s potential for huge transformation. Make use of it.

Please stop hiding your true self behind your clothes.

You are a magnificent woman who is capable of loving herself fully and who deserves to destroy destructive body beliefs. You are worthy of seeing your beautiful body and self in all facets.

What insecurities are you trying to hide behind what you wear?

Do you dress in black because you love black or because you want to conceal something? Do you dress prudish because you don’t like revealing clothes or because you think your boobs are too small? Do you dress sexy because you love your curves or because you think it’s the only way to draw attention to you?

Discovering old belief systems about your body and destroying them is extremely powerful. So is dressing a certain way because you simply and truly love the style.

Wear whatever you want to wear, wear it with pride, but most importantly: wear it with the right intention in mind.

A Stranger Called Me a Slut and It Opened My Eyes By Anja Vojta, MSc

Anja Vojta is a certified relationship coach and breakup expert.

Reach her on Instagram or on her website.

This post was originally on Medium

https://medium.com/fearless-she-wrote/a-stranger-called-me-a-slut-and-it-opened-my-eyes-218ed8795637