Boundary, Not Cowardice: 5 Times A Text Message Is the Only Respectful Way to End A Distasteful Relationship

Our society has drilled a rule into our minds that “Breakups should happen in person”. In today’s age, if someone is breaking up with you over a text or a call, then it is disrespectful, cruel, or even cowardly. The golden standard of having tearful conversations face-to-face actually doesn’t fit all breakups.

Modern dating often starts with an online connection, and your feelings of love and dating are always conveyed by text message. It wasn’t a sign of cowardice then, so why is breaking up over the phone disrespectful? As a dating expert, we suggest that it is a sign of emotional intelligence and setting a firm boundary. It is better than ghosting or walking away without saying anything!

We believe communication is key to a good relationship; the medium does not matter here. All you need to know is that the message is respectful, clear, and genuine.

In a toxic relationship, breaking up over text is all about boundary setting. It is the safest and clearest way to communicate without exhausting yourself over physical safety.

Here are five circumstances where a breakup over text is necessary:

1.   When Physical Safety is Compromised

If you find your partner abusive both physically and verbally, and has a history of aggressive behaviour during conflict, then thinking about safety is ok. Your physical safety is the priority, and it’s non-negotiable.

In such situations, sending a clear text helps you retain control over the timing and the environment. Choosing to send a text over a face-to-face meetup lessens the chances of physical harm. This confrontation is all about maintaining your self-respect and using the boundaries as a shield.

2.   When the Relationship is New, Vague, or Non-Exclusive

If your relationship is not defined, then it is ok to text. After three casual dates, you were introduced to friends formally, or may have some other issues, then texting will make things less awkward.

A text like “I had a great time with you, but I am looking for someone different. I wish you better.” Is respectful and helps you convey your feelings too. It’s better than ghosting and saves both parties from emotional labor, too.

3.   When the Partner Refuses to Accept the Decision

Breakup is a debate for some partners, even if it’s your decision. These partners refuse to acknowledge your decision and try to negotiate through bargaining, and emotional manipulation.

You texted them about your decision, but still, they are showing up at your house, disturbing you with constant texts and trying to reopen the discussion. These texts are the documentation of the hard labor.

Your last message, but be clear and set the boundary, something like “I have noticed that you have pulled back. We are not on the same page, and it’s ok, but I am making a decision to close the loop. Wishing you the best of luck!” The next step is blocking contact immediately.

4.   Long-Distance Relationship

You both live in different cities, and have this relationship still going on through texts. The occupational meetup after many months, and each trip being expensive.

Here, a well-written text or a voice message is better for you to tell how you feel and what your reasons are. Try to avoid video calling to avoid awkwardness and sudden emotional breakouts.

5. To Avoid an Emotional Meltdown or Attachment Issues

If your relationship has a lot of drama, emotional meltdowns, and fights, then in-person meetings can be stressful. You will find yourself practicing and carefully choosing words while the anxiety overtakes everything.

Here, attachment issues can also be a reason for a breakup. Such breaking up in person will lead to sobbing, panic attacks, and pleading, which will further create more drama. A breakup will become traumatic and emotionally draining for you.

Choosing to text helps you to compose all your feelings and thoughts with clarity. It will help you from getting into heated conversations that you both regret later.

Conclusion

We have seen many in-person meeting breakups accelerating into violence and meltdowns. The reason standard breakups are about conveying your feelings with finality and clarity.

Just remember that a respectful breakup text must be:

• Clear and free of unambiguous words.
• Kind and brief
• Finality and disclosure

True maturity is to understand the narrative of the situation without thinking of the means of communication. Thus, this article challenges the old norms of dating while briefing the modern-day solutions. At the end, all we want to say is: You are not a coward, you are brave and respectful to initiate a solution for your own peace!