Flying Monkeys – Abuse by Proxy

Flying Monkeys - Abuse by Proxy

Unicorns, mermaids, and flying monkeys – all seemingly fictional things that have no applicability or relevance to real life, or, so we’ve been told. Though unicorns and mermaids may have staked their claim in the fictional world, flying monkeys are very real, just not in the way you may think.

Narcissistic tactics often utilize the victim’s family members to spy on them and spread malicious gossip about the narcissist while painting the narcissist as the victim and their target as the perpetrator. Flying monkeys may also be your narcissist’s friends, family members, coworkers, or associates before you show up. The purpose of the narcissist is to maintain the illusion that he or she has power over you.

You may find yourself dealing with a narcissistic individual; you may also find yourself dealing with flying monkeys. Flying monkeys refer to the people narcissists recruit to help alienate, isolate, and harass whomever their target is. Though this sounds like an outwardly apparent strategy, it’s easy to fall victim to a narcissist and their flying monkeys.


One classic example of this is when a relationship with a narcissist end. After ending this relationship, the narcissist may spread false information about the other person in the relationship, causing those close to the relationship to turn on the other individual. Flying monkeys, in most cases, can cause more harm than the narcissist themselves. This is because flying monkeys tend to take on the role of the silent observer, supporting, advocating for, and rallying behind the narcissistic person by not speaking up against them.


Though flying monkeys hold a bad reputation and can cause extreme harm when used by a narcissist, many times these individuals are usually benign and manipulated by the narcissist to believe the smears they may be being told. Whether the individual being used as a flying monkey knows it or not, the damage they can cause can be irreversible. These unfortunate people are pawns in the narcissist world.


We see flying monkeys in all aspects of our lives, from our personal and close relationships to work relationships and even throughout governmental systems and institutions. Authority and institutional figures are usually always related to flying monkeys. This can have devastating effects as the narcissists in these situations usually hold a certain amount of power and influence. Once a person of influence and power can surround themselves with flying monkeys, they can make decisions and actions while being practically unchecked.


Flying monkeys in these situations may be swept up by the personality of the person in power or even by just the power they hold. Often, these flying monkeys stand idly by while the narcissist, or person in power, executes actions that do not align with society’s standards, which can be just as damaging as if they were actively participating in the lewd action.


.Whatever they did wrong, they’ll require you to take the blame for. The narcissist will use demeaning lies and praise the best things about you within those lies. This lying, which sets out to destroy one of our best qualities, is the most hurtful.

You must know what to look for to protect yourself from flying monkeys surrounding narcissists. Flying monkeys are great at gaslighting, denying your reality, and getting involved in drama and gossip to keep the narcissist happy and feed into the narcissist’s reality. Holding your reality and understanding what is true to you are less likely to get swept up in the flying monkey’s narrative and, ultimately, the narcissist’s reality. Being aware and expectant of these individuals accompanying narcissists can help prevent you from falling victim to a narcissist’s scheme.


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