Nonconformity: When “Fun Facts” Are Red Flags

For many people, modern living involves a desire for distinction. From the way they dress to the cars they drive, individuals dare to be different. True, interesting, offbeat details are often the main thing acquaintances remember after meeting someone new. Yet not all unusual proclivities are recalled as “fun facts”; some memorable details are disturbing and unsettling. And after an act of violence, initially “interesting” particulars are ominous in retrospect. When the desire to be different involves risk-taking and a dangerous disposition, individuality can be unpredictable and unnerving. Research illustrates this reality.

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When Abnormal Is Alarming

In a world defined by hashtags, trends, and whatever constitutes “the new normal,” some people intentionally present themselves as abnormal. On the bright side, many people showcase unique traits and talents cultivated through life experiences and personal achievements, particularly stories of overcoming adversity, which make them memorable and likable. In a darker vein, some people share unsettling experiences of having been involved in past criminality or violence. Some demonstrate nonconformity by insisting upon living in the past and wallowing in grievance, which can be the first step along the pathway to targeted violence.[i]

In evaluating whether an unusual fact or circumstance is distinctive or dangerous, here are some guidelines for balancing personal traits with potential dangerousness.

Impulsive Nonconformity and Risk-Taking

Some red flags involve engaging in risky behavior. Parents don’t want their 16-year-old daughter to date a daredevil willing to “try anything.” Adults feel the same way about trusting acquaintances or colleagues who insist on “living on the edge” personally or professionally. Research corroborates these concerns.

Andrew Denovan et al. (2020) studied the link between schizotypy and risk-taking.[ii] The researchers define schizotypy, which has been linked with a variety of risky behaviors, as a “multidimensional psychopathology construct” comprising a mix of conditions, one of which is impulsive nonconformity. Investigating the interplay between schizotypy, urgency in the form of emotional impulsivity, and risk-taking, they found that impulsive nonconformity positively predicted risk-taking. Other conditions, such as cognitive disorganization and unusual experiences, indirectly affected risk-taking through urgency, which helped explain the schizotypy-risk relationship.

Reading Red Flags of Rebellion

In other cases, the common denominator separating the dangerous from the desirable is a matter of intention. People who showcase their creativity through nonconformity can make interesting conversation partners, party planners, or even paramours. Dangerous individuals, however, are more likely to embrace unconventionality in terms of refusing to conform to societal norms, resulting in disrespect for rules or laws and often vocal objection to those who do.

When Unconventional Is Unstable and Unpredictable

When learning about new friends or prospective paramours, there is nothing wrong with being pleasantly surprised by interesting facts. But, although positive qualities might be unexpected, they should not be unpredictable. Distinctive qualities complement someone who is also perceived as truthful and trustworthy. The goal is to be a conversation starter and a walking talking point—not a ticking time bomb.

Even when you are initially amused by or even attracted to a distinctive individual, consider how and why he or she caught your attention, the motivation fueling the forced abnormality, in order to perceive the personality behind the nonconforming persona.