Reading Red Flags of Revenge: Perception as Prevention by

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Within human interaction, relational conflict is inevitable. It occurs between friends, family members, and coworkers, from the classroom to the bedroom to the boardroom. The outcome, however, depends on the personalities and proclivities of the individuals involved. Some people are better equipped to handle conflict than others. We all know people who have a thick skin when it comes to weathering negative sentiments and personal attacks, seemingly unruffled in the fray. We also know people on the other end of the spectrum who take offense easily and carry grudges. It is those in the latter category who are more difficult to deal with, more disagreeable, and potentially be dangerous. Research explains.

Responding With Revenge

Maartje Elshout et al. in a piece entitled “Situational Precursors of Revenge” (2017) investigated settings that predicted revenge, including social exclusion, types of relationships, and opportunity.[i] They compared what they termed avengers—people who acted on vengeful feelings—and nonavengers, or people who did not.

Elshout et al. recognize that revenge may be excessive with severe consequences, including what they term “personally and societally disruptive acts” including everything from school shootings to homicide to mass murder. They acknowledge the importance of acquiring insight into revenge predictors, yet also know, as threat assessors can attest, that acts of revenge are often unpredictable. Elshout et al. corroborate this reality with examples of friends and acquaintances expressing disbelief when hearing about the carnage caused by an avenger they considered to be “such a normal person” or “a totally normal, nice guy” whom they did not believe capable of violence. But there are red flags.

Vendettas and Vengefulness

Elshout et al. note that some prior research focusing on how demographics and personality traits impact attitudes and intentions about revenge show that vengefulness is higher among men than women, and higher among younger people. They note that vengefulness is also positively associated with attitudes about power, social dominance, and psychological states such as narcissism and neuroticism, while negatively correlated with empathy, agreeableness, and benevolence. Yet knowledge about potentially predisposing factors cannot predict whether such people will actually take revenge. Situation matters also.

Situations Geared to Revenge

Elshout et al. compared avengers to nonavengers within different situations related to the nature of the offense, the relationship between the parties, and context. They found that avengers, perhaps contrary to popular opinion, did not exact revenge because the offenses they suffered were more severe or emotionally intense, or created more rumination, based on the number of audience members, or based on their level of closeness to the offender.

Regarding the characteristics that distinguished the two groups, they found that revenge was more prevalent among young male friends and acquaintances, following offenses involving social exclusion, and when it was possible. Elshout et al. recognize opportunity as a key factor in the choice to take revenge, explaining that it may be one of the few ways to gain attention in reacting to social exclusion, and may be less likely when offenders are strangers.

Revenge as Social Insult

Elshout et al. found that only offenses involving social exclusion predictably resulted in revenge, highlighting its social nature. They explain the link as illustrating the harm caused by interpersonal threats to the sense of belonging and note that rejection and social exclusion are linked with aggression in general as well as severe manifestations of aggression such as school shootings.

Elshout et al. provide a practical warning: Social exclusion should be closely monitored to detect red flags of plotting revenge and to prevent future danger. And as threat assessors know and seek to achieve every day, intervention is prevention.