Spotting a Child Predator: The Brightest Red Flags by Wendy Patrick Ph.d J.D
There are ways to identify the sinister, yet subtle signs of sexual grooming.
ey points
- Grooming is a deceptive strategy designed to facilitate child sexual abuse and avoid detection.
- Some grooming tactics mimic a normal, healthy, adult-child relationship.
- Red flags include isolating vulnerable victims and desensitizing sexual content and contact.
- Family grooming involves spending time with a child’s family to increase access to the child.
Source: Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay
Sexual abuse victimization is every parent’s nightmare every time they are separated from their child. Yet children attend school, spend time playing sports and hanging out with friends, and, as they get older, spend more time on their own in public. But parents still worry; some are suspicious of neighbors, coaches, and teachers who develop an interest in their child. How much of that attention is healthy? Recent research findings provide some guidance.
Predatory Behaviors
Elizabeth L. Jeglic et al. (2023) published a study identifying red flags of child sexual grooming behavior by adult males.[i] Their study defines sexual grooming as a “deceptive process wherein a would-be perpetrator prepares a child for sexual abuse (CSA) and prevents disclosure and detection.” They note the challenge of detecting sexual grooming behaviors because many resemble normal interactions with adults, highlighting the need to identify red flags.
Jeglic et al. studied reported sexual grooming behaviors between adults who were victimized as children and those who were not. They found numerous sexual grooming behaviors differentiated the two groups, including the behaviors of adults who engaged in CSA, as well as the importance of the child’s relationship to the adult. The challenge lies in distinguishing deviance from benevolence.
Recognizing Sexual Grooming: Motivation Matters
Jeglic et al. note that many sexual grooming behaviors, particularly those not related to sexual content or touch, can be challenging to recognize because some of the tactics are seemingly innocuous, and many may reflect a natural, normal, healthy adult relationship with a child. This is an abuser’s goal, in order to avoid detection. Jeglic et al. use examples that are not themselves inherently suspect, such as adult gift-giving or playing childlike games with children, even though these types of strategies are also used in sexual grooming.
On the other hand, Jeglic et al. identify certain behaviors that are red flags, indicating sexual grooming. They include behaviors specifically designed to desensitize children to sexual content and physical contact such as undressing in front of a child, showing a child pornography, or using inappropriate sexual language.
Another hallmark of abuse is the use of a large number of many different sexual grooming behaviors, including engaging in activities with a child away from other adults, showering a child with gifts or compliments, and communicating with a minor through texting or other means.
Preying on Vulnerability
From a victim selection perspective, Jeglic et al. noted that one identified risk factor was the psychological vulnerability of the child, including feelings of low self-esteem, feeling isolated or lonely, experiencing psychological or behavioral problems, and feeling unloved, unwanted, or needy.
Access and Isolation
Regarding conduct that facilitates abuse, Jeglic et al. identified the biggest red flag as separating a child from peers and family—a behavior they found to be 20 times more likely in cases of CSA. This includes physical and psychological separation—the latter being perhaps even more important because it removes the precepting of having social support outside the abusive relationship. This perceived isolation can aggravate feelings of isolation or parental alienation, making a child more vulnerable to abuse.
Family Grooming
Jeglic et al. explain that predators often spend time with a child’s family to increase access to the child, known as familial grooming. Consequently, they note the importance of closely monitoring community members such as teachers, coaches, or religious leaders seeking to spend time with a child and his or her family to ensure that all activities are done as a family unit. This type of monitoring can be facilitated through the community member’s organizational policies and procedures which may prohibit certain types of contact outside of the official position, as well as parents and caregivers who the perpetrator may try to groom to gain access to the child.
Together, families and local organizations can work together to protect children, identify abusers, and make communities safer.
References
[i] Jeglic, Elizabeth L., Georgia M. Winters, and Benjamin N. Johnson. 2023. “Identification of Red Flag Child Sexual Grooming Behaviors.” Child Abuse & Neglect 136 (February): 1–13. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2022.105998.
About the Author
Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Why Bad Looks Good, Red Flags, and co-author of the revised New York Times bestseller Reading.
Online:
wendypatrickphd.com, Facebook, X, LinkedIn, Instagram
