Texting Behavior and The Narc

De Stress Workbook

Texts and Narc


Individuals with narcissistic traits often display specific texting habits that mirror their personality characteristics and communication style. Take a look at some commonly observed text behaviors linked to narcissism:

  • Abundance of Messages during Idealization: In the initial stages of a relationship or during the ‘love-bombing’ phase, narcissists tend to flood your inbox with frequent, complimentary, and intense messages. This strategy aims to captivate the recipient and foster a sense of closeness.
  • Ghosting or Imposing Silent Treatment: Narcissists may abruptly cease responding to texts, utilizing silence as a means of control or as a form of punishment. This behavior typically surfaces when they feel slighted, crave attention, or aim to manipulate the dynamics of the situation.


  • Inconsistent Response Patterns: The timing of their responses can be erratic, displaying a range from immediate replies to prolonged delays without an apparent reason. This inconsistency often leaves the recipient feeling uncertain and preoccupied with the unpredictable nature of the narcissist’s communication style.
  • Gaslighting and Manipulation: One common trait in texts from narcissists is manipulation. They often try to mess with your reality, shake your confidence, and make you doubt your memory or judgment. It’s like they’re playing mind games to control the situation.


  • Self-Centered Conversations: When you read their texts, you might notice a pattern – it’s all about them. Their interests, achievements, and problems take the spotlight, leaving little room for your needs or feelings. It’s like a one-way street where they’re the main character.

  • Sudden Mood Shifts: Dealing with a narcissist’s texts can feel like riding an emotional rollercoaster. One moment, they’re sweet and affectionate, and the next, they’re cold and aggressive. It’s like their mood is directly linked to how much attention and admiration they’re getting.
  • Passive-Aggressive or Sarcastic Remarks: Watch out for those subtle jabs and sarcastic comments. When they feel criticized or think they’re not getting the attention they deserve, narcissists may express their frustration through passive-aggressive behavior or sarcasm in their texts.


  • Lack of Empathy: Reading their messages might leave you feeling like something’s missing – genuine empathy. Narcissists often don’t show a real interest in your emotional state. Instead, their texts focus on their experiences and feelings, leaving yours in the background. It’s like they’re not tuning into your emotional channel.


  • Triangulation: One common trick is involving third parties in text conversations. This could mean casually mentioning other people to stir up jealousy or unfavorably comparing the person to others, which is a tactic often used.


  • Demanding Attention: Some individuals expect instant responses and can get upset or even punitive if they don’t get the attention they feel they deserve within the timeframe they want.
  • Overwhelming with Messages: There are instances, especially during arguments or when trying to regain control, where a narcissist might flood the recipient with numerous texts, creating a sort of message avalanche.
  • Love Bombing after Conflict: Following a conflict or a period of silence, a narcissist might switch gears suddenly and send overly affectionate or flattering messages. This is a way to pull the person back in, like a charm offensive.

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