Today, we’re not just observing World Mental Care Day—we’re taking action. If you’ve felt helpless against anxiety, this is your permission to reclaim control gently.

Forget vague resolutions. Here are the practical steps you can start today with ease.

Anxiety isn’t just a mental challenge—it’s a physical takeover. A rapid heart rate, shallow breathing, and muscle tension are all signs that your body’s panic response is taking control.

Today, on World Mental Care Day, the most effective action you can take is to equip yourself with an immediate, physical tool to interrupt that spiral before it takes over. You don’t need a resource; you need your breath.

The 60-Second Anchor Technique

This simple technique is designed to physically slow your heart rate and signal to your nervous system that you are safe. Commit to practicing it for 60 seconds, three times today:

1. Inhale (4 Seconds): Slowly draw a deep breath in through your nose, counting to four. Focus on filling your belly, not just your chest.
2. Hold (4 Seconds): Gently hold the breath in for a slow count of four.
3. Exhale (6 Seconds): Slowly release the breath through your mouth, extending the count to six. This longer exhale is key to calming your body.

Repeat this cycle until 60 seconds have passed. This deliberate action shifts control from your sympathetic (fight-or-flight) nervous system back to your parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) system.

Start right now. Give yourself this 60-second gift of immediate control.

Today is a global reminder to prioritize what truly matters: your mind. If anxiety has been your silent battle, know this: you deserve relief, and there is a path forward.

On this day dedicated to awareness, turn awareness into action.

The Anxiety Reset Workbook is not just another read—it’s your first practical step toward calm. It acknowledges the overwhelming struggle while equipping you with compassionate, science-backed techniques to decode worry and stop panic spirals in under a minute.

Take this moment. Give yourself the gift of control.

Download The Anxiety Reset and Take Your First Step to Peace.

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT

Projection, in general, and narcissist projection are defense mechanisms commonly used by abusers, including people with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder and addicts. Basically, they say, “It’s not me, it’s you!” When we project, we are defending ourselves against unconscious impulses or traits, either positive or negative, that we’ve denied in ourselves. Instead, we attribute them to others. Our thoughts or feelings about someone or something are too uncomfortable to acknowledge. In our minds, we believe that the thought or emotion originates from that other person.

We might think someone else is angry or judgmental, yet are unaware that we are. We might imagine “She hates me,” when we actually hate her. Similar to projection is externalization, when we blame others for our problems rather than taking responsibility for our part in causing them. It makes us feel like a victim. Addicts often blame their drinking or drug use on their spouse or boss.

Our coping strategies reflect our emotional maturity. Projection is considered a primitive defense because it distorts or ignores reality in order for us to function and preserve our ego. It’s reactive, without forethought, and is defense children use. When used by adults, it reveals less emotional maturity and indicates impaired emotional development.

Boundaries

Psychoanalyst Melanie Klein famously said that a mother must be able to love her child even as it bites her breast, meaning that a good mother, like a good therapist, with appropriate boundaries and self-esteem, won’t react to the anger and project badness on her baby. She will love her baby nonetheless. A child’s boundaries are naturally porous. If we had a mother with weak boundaries who reacted to us with anger or withdrawal, we absorbed our mother’s reaction, as if her reaction was a negative statement about our worth and lovability. We would shame ourselves and develop weak boundaries, too. The mother-infant bond may have become negative. The same thing can happen with a father’s reactions, because a child needs to feel loved and accepted unconditionally by both parents.

We can grow up with shame-based beliefs about ourselves and are set up to be manipulated and abused. Moreover, if one of our parents is a narcissist or abuser, his or her feelings and needs, particularly emotional needs, come first. As a result of shame, we learn ours are unimportant. We adapt and become codependent.

Self-Judgment

It’s common for codependents to have internalized or toxic shame and strong inner critic. As a result, we will find fault with others just as we do with ourselves, often about the same characteristics. We might project our critic onto others and think they’re criticizing us, when in fact it’s our own self-judgment that is being activated. We assume people will judge and not accept us, because we judge and don’t accept ourselves. The more we accept ourselves, the more comfortable we are with others. We’re not self-conscious thinking that they’re judging us.

Declining Self-Esteem

In an adult relationship with an abuser or addict, you may not believe you have any rights. Naturally, you go along or put your partner’s needs and feelings first, sometimes self-sacrificing at great lengths to please and avoid conflict. Your self-esteem and independence steadily decline. As your partner behaves like a king or queen, you become increasingly dependent, even though your needs aren’t being fulfilled.  This allows your partner to easily manipulate, abuse, and exploit you. Your self-doubt grows as your partner projects more shame and criticism onto you.

Meanwhile, you accept the blame and try to be more understanding in the relationship. In vain attempts to win approval and stay connected, you tread on eggshells, fearful of your partner’s displeasure and criticism. You worry about what he or she will think or do and become preoccupied with the relationship. You stay to prevent your greatest fears—abandonment and rejection —and lose hope of finding lasting love. In time, you may believe that no one would want you or that the grass isn’t greener. Your partner might even tell you the same in an attempt to project their shame and fear onto you. After whittling down your self-esteem, you’re primed to believe it’s true.

Projective Identification

When we have a strong sense of self and self-esteem, we have healthy boundaries. When someone projects something onto us, it bounces off. We don’t take it personally, because we realize it’s untrue or merely a statement about the speaker. A good slogan to remember is QTIP, “Quit taking it personally!”

However, when we have low self-esteem or are sensitive about a specific issue, such as our looks or intelligence, we are susceptible to believing a projection as a fact. We introject the projection. This is because internally we agree with it. It sticks like a magnet, and we believe it’s true. Then we react to the shaming and compound our relationship problems. Doing so validates the abusers’ ideas about us and gives them authority and control. We’re sending the message that they have power over our self-esteem and the right to approve of us.

Responding to Narcissist Projection

A projector can exert enormous pressure on you to accept the projection. If you’re empathetic, you’re more open and less psychologically defended. If you also have poor boundaries, as described above, you may absorb a projection more easily and identify with it as your own trait.

Understanding how projective identification works is crucial for self-protection. Recognizing the defense can be a valuable tool, for it’s a window into the unconscious mind of an abuser. We can actually experience what he or she is feeling and thinking. Armed with this knowledge, if someone shames us, we realize that he or she is projecting and reacting to his or her own shame. It can give us empathy, which is helpful, provided we have good self-esteem and empathy for ourselves!  Learning How to Raise Your Self-esteem and Stop Self-Criticism is our first defense against projection.

Still, you may feel baffled about what to do. When someone projects onto you, simply set a boundary. This gives the projection back to the speaker. You’re establishing a force field – an invisible wall. Say something like:

“I don’t see it that way.”

“I disagree.”

“I don’t take responsibility for that.”

“That’s your opinion.”

It’s important not to argue or defend yourself, because that gives credence to the projector’s false reality. If the abuser persists, you can say, “We simply disagree,” and leave the conversation. The projector will have to stew in his or her own negative feelings. See “Do’s and Don’ts in Confronting Abuse.” Learn how to communicate with a narcissist in Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships and how to overcome toxic shame in Conquering Shame and Codependency.

© Darlene Lancer 2019

We live in a world and era where everything is too fast. The modern world has its own advantages, such as advanced technology and a more civilized lifestyle. But its biggest drawback is the stress of keeping up with the pace. Anxiety and stress is too common today. 1 in 5 people in the USA have an anxiety disorder, and about 300 million people globally face this problem.

In such a rushed life, it is hard to find time for basic leisure and relaxation. Adding the reduction of a healthier environment to this causes such high rates of anxiety and other mental illnesses. Therefore, it is mandatory to take good enough care of yourself and your mental health. You need to take time from your busy routine and spend it in solitude and relaxation.

The best way to cope with stress and anxiety is through meditation and doing yoga. Yoga is a long-established way of achieving mental stability and peace. When you meditate, you give yourself the time you need. You cut yourself from the hectic world around you and focus on yourself. One of the many beneficial things yoga does is help you understand your qualities and your flaws.

When you are meditating, you tend to think about your existence and role in the outside world. This helps you understand yourself more deeply and rationally. You get to know your strengths and weaknesses. This enables you to work on your flaws and make a better person by completely eliminating them. This can also help to boost your confidence level.

There are many Asanas (postures) in yoga that help you instantly release stress. Stretching in yoga helps release anxiety by lowering cortisol level in your body. Cortisol is a hormone that is released when your body and mind is in great stress. It causes negative effects on your mind. Yoga and meditation can help your body overcome this.

All the Asanas in yoga help you stretch your body. You need to try postures that enable you to stretch as much as possible. This helps you release the blocked tension in your limbs and back and lets all your muscles relax completely. Yoga is also beneficial for maintaining and toning your body shape. It is a perfect way to exercise where it lets your mind to relax as well as your body to shape well.

1. Prioritize Breathwork (Pranayama)

The breath is the bridge between the mind and body. Dedicated breathwork can immediately calm the nervous system and is arguably the most powerful tool in the yoga arsenal for mental health.

• Tip: Practice Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing): This technique is scientifically proven to balance the left and right hemispheres of the brain, leading to a state of calm and centeredness. Practice for 5-10 minutes before bed or whenever you feel anxious.
• Tip: Extend the Exhale: When feeling stressed or overwhelmed, focus on making your exhale longer than your inhale (e.g., inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6 counts). This actively signals to your vagus nerve that it’s safe to rest and digest.

2. Move to Process Emotion (Asana)

Physical postures (asanas) are not just about stretching; they are about releasing stored tension and emotion held in the body’s tissues.

• Tip: Incorporate Hip Openers: The hips are often referred to as the “storage center” for stress, trauma, and suppressed emotions. Poses like Pigeon Pose (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana) or Bound Angle Pose (Baddha Konasana) can bring deep emotions to the surface, allowing you to acknowledge and process them.
• Tip: Practice Inversions for Perspective: Gentle inversions (like Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose or Puppy Pose) literally shift your perspective and can stimulate blood flow to the brain, which may help clear mental fog and reduce symptoms of depression.

3. Embrace Savasana as Non-Negotiable Rest

Savasana (Corpse Pose) is often considered the most essential pose in a yoga practice. It is the time when the nervous system integrates the benefits of the practice.

• Tip: Stay Put for the Full 5 Minutes: Even if you feel restless or busy, commit to staying still in Savasana for at least five full minutes. Use this time for non-judgmental observation of your thoughts rather than planning or reviewing your to-do list.

4. Cultivate Mindfulness through Movement

Mindfulness in yoga means paying attention to the present moment without judgment. This practice enhances emotional intelligence and reduces rumination.

• Tip: Anchor to Physical Sensation: If your mind wanders during a pose, deliberately bring your attention back to a specific physical sensation: the stretch in your hamstring, the feel of the floor beneath your feet, or the movement of your breath. This immediate grounding prevents the mind from spinning into anxiety about the past or future.

5. Find the Right Style for Your Current State

Different styles of yoga serve different mental health needs. Matching the practice to your current emotional state is key.

• When Feeling Agitated or Anxious: Choose slower, more restorative practices like Yin Yoga or Restorative Yoga, which are held for long periods and focus purely on deep relaxation and stillness.
• When Feeling Lethargic or Depressed: Choose more energetic, moving practices like Vinyasa or Ashtanga, which can help generate energy (prana) and lift your mood.

For those struggling with any sort of addiction, yoga and meditation are the only positive ways to slowly let go of addiction. Many of the addicts chose drugs to cope with the stress and anxiety of daily life. Professionals suggest meditation as an alternative for stress relieving rather than smoking or drinking.

Thus, yoga and meditation are the best way to cope with the pressure of modern life. It can help you focus on yourself and become a better person. It releases stored tension in your body and mind. It also helps you to remain in a good mood which is highly beneficial for a healthy mind.

Topic: How to build strength, boost energy, and improve focus with just 10 minutes of targeted, high-intensity movement—no gym required.

The “Why” Behind the 10-Minute Micro-Workout

In the world of fitness hacks, the single most powerful tool you have is efficiency. You don’t need an hour to get results; you just need intensity. Our 10-Minute Micro-Workout is designed to disrupt inertia, stimulate muscle growth, and improve cardiovascular health using only your body weight and 10 minutes from your lunch break, morning routine, or post-work slump.

The goal isn’t just to burn calories—it’s to elevate your heart rate and recruit major muscle groups quickly, producing the same beneficial hormonal response as a longer session.

Your 10-Minute “Hack It Done” Routine

This routine is structured as a 3-round circuit with a focus on functional movement. Perform each exercise for 40 seconds, followed by a 20-second rest/transition period.

Time	Exercise	Focus
0:00 – 1:00	Jump Squats	Explosive Power & Cardio Warm-up
1:00 – 2:00	Push-ups (or Knee Push-ups)	Chest, Shoulders, and Core Strength
2:00 – 3:00	Mountain Climbers	Full-Body Cardio & Core Stability

The Circuit Plan (Repeat 3 Times)

1. Round 1: Jump Squats (40s) → Rest (20s) → Push-ups (40s) → Rest (20s) → Mountain Climbers (40s) → Rest (20s)
2. Round 2: (Repeat the sequence)
3. Round 3: (Repeat the sequence)

Total Time: 9 minutes 30 seconds.

Finish with 30 seconds of deep breathing and a quick calf stretch. That’s it—you’re done!

The Fitness Hack Takeaway

The barrier to entry for fitness is often the time commitment. By consistently hacking your day with this high-impact, low-duration routine, you train your body and, more importantly, your mind to prioritize movement. Make this micro-workout non-negotiable, and watch how quickly your energy levels and focus throughout the day improve.

Want to make it harder? Try switching the Jump Squats for Burpees in Round 3.

One makes you worry about the future; the other wants you to do it right.

Source: Saniya/pixabay

Denice has a work project that’s due, but she’s falling behind schedule. She’s worried, especially since she is relatively new at her job. But adding fuel to the fire is her critical inner voice, scolding her not only to pick up the pace but also to make sure that she does a good job—a

Remnants from childhood

Anxiety and self-criticism often go hand in hand. If you had critical parents, not only does this criticism eventually become embedded in your self-talk, it makes you feel more anxious. You learned that one way to fend it off was by ensuring, through perfectionism, self-scolding, and hypervigilance, that you do nothing to upset them.

While this strategy worked for you as a child, it continues into adulthood, where it no longer works so well. Not only does Denice continue to worry about pleasing her parents, but now her supervisor, and perhaps even her best friend or partner, have been added to the mix, as well as her scolding herself for feeling overwhelmed in the first place for not managing her life better.

These childhood ways of coping can now lead to an emotionally downward spiral. They are like old software in a computer that no longer works—time for an upgrade. Here’s how to get started:

Realize You Actually Have Two Problems, Not Ten

Denice’s anxiety makes all that is going on in her life—the project, maybe a hiccup in her relationship with her partner, or worry about a friend she’s been neglecting—all feel like a priority, while her self-criticism demands that she handles them all with perfection. It’s time for her to step back and realize that the underlying problems aren’t the project, the partner, or the friend, but that her old demons of anxiety and self-criticism have been triggered and have mentally and emotionally taken over.

Upgrade Your Software: Tools for Anxiety.

Once you realize your brain has been hijacked, it’s time to push back. Sometimes this is about taking decisive action to solve a real-life problem: You’re anxious because you never heard back from your boss about your work schedule or from your partner about what time to pick up the kids. The antidote is action—text your boss about the schedule or your partner about picking up the kids—get it off your plate without falling into perfectionism. If, on the other hand, there isn’t a problem you can identify—you are just feeling jittery or irritable—focus instead on lowering the anxiety itself. Here is where the more tools you have in your anxiety toolbox, the better—deep breathing, mindfulness, distraction.

But prevention is also a key: One effective approach is to track your anxiety before it escalates to the point where you feel overwhelmed and struggle to regain control. Check in with yourself every hour or so. Ask yourself on a 10-point scale—one being calm and 10 being out of control—where you fall. When you reach a three or four, it’s time to take action to reduce your anxiety.

Upgrade Your Software: Self-criticism

You can think of self-criticism as a bully that you need to push back against or as hyperactive guard dogs that overreact to the slightest danger, requiring reassurance to calm down—choose the image that resonates with you. The key is, like anxiety, to recognize when self-criticism is rearing its head and taking over, and then take steps to silence it. Often, simply acknowledging its presence is enough to help you step back and regain control.

Breaking The Cycle

If anxiety and self-criticism have been part of your life for so long, you may not even realize their subtle impact, or you may try to accept it as “just the way you are.” But it doesn’t have to continue to be just the way you are. We all have childhood ways of coping that no longer work, that require a retooling and upgrade. The solution begins with acknowledging these challenges in your life and addressing the outdated ways of coping.

You’re no longer a child; anxiety and self-criticism are not “just you.” Ready to upgrade your software?

Need Therapy Sign up at Thera Connect

 Author

Online:

 My Website

Narcissistic rage is not the same as typical anger. It is an immediate and overwhelming reaction to a perceived threat that punctures the narcissist’s carefully constructed, grandiose self-image. Any slight, no matter how minor, can be interpreted as a devastating insult that threatens their core sense of superiority.

1. Direct Challenges to Superiority and Perfection

These triggers directly contradict the narcissist’s belief that they are flawless, uniquely talented, or the ultimate authority.

• Constructive Criticism or Feedback: Even mild or well-intentioned suggestions are interpreted as a declaration that they are incompetent or wrong. The rage is an attempt to immediately punish the critic and discredit their judgment.
• Being Corrected Publicly: If someone points out a factual error, a mistake in their story, or a flaw in their argument, it causes immediate humiliation and a loss of status. The public exposure makes the injury far worse.
• Success or Attention Paid to Others: The narcissist believes they must be the most important person in the room. When a partner, friend, or colleague receives praise, recognition, or a promotion, the narcissist can feel intensely envious and injured, viewing the other person’s success as a personal affront.
• Skepticism or Doubt: Questioning their claims, memory, or version of events can trigger rage because it implies they are lying or unreliable, which is incompatible with their self-concept.

2. Loss of Control and Setting Boundaries

Narcissists view other people as extensions of themselves or objects designed to serve their needs (called narcissistic supply). Anything that restricts their access to or control over these resources is a major trigger.

• Setting Boundaries: Saying “no,” limiting contact, or establishing a rule they must follow is interpreted as a direct act of defiance and rebellion. It reminds them that they do not have total control, leading to explosive anger.
• Disobedience or Independence: When a partner, employee, or child makes a decision without their approval, or acts independently in a way that doesn’t serve the narcissist’s needs, it triggers a rage aimed at restoring the power dynamic.
• Leaving or Rejection: The ultimate loss of control. If a partner attempts to leave the relationship, the rage response is designed to terrify them into staying and to inflict pain for the perceived abandonment.

3. Withdrawal of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, validation, admiration, and praise they constantly require to regulate their shaky self-esteem. When this supply is cut off or neglected, rage often ensues.

• Being Ignored or Dismissed: If they are talking and someone looks away, or if their demands are not immediately met, they feel invisible and unimportant. This profound sense of neglect leads to a demand for immediate, disproportionate attention.
• Indifference: Reacting to their attempts at emotional manipulation or drama with calmness or indifference is frustrating to them. They need a strong reaction (positive or negative) to feel seen; indifference suggests they lack the power to affect others.
• Feeling Unspecial: Being treated like “everyone else”—waiting in line, getting standard service, or not receiving preferential treatment—can trigger entitlement rage, as it violates their belief that they deserve special privileges simply because they exist.

Be prepared for a barrage of accusations as the narcissist will strike out

Nonconsensual pornography, commonly known as “revenge porn,” is a deeply invasive form of abuse where explicit images or videos of individuals are shared without their consent. The laws surrounding this issue vary significantly across the United States, reflecting diverse approaches to addressing this pervasive problem.

Legal Landscape Across the United States

In the United States, laws against nonconsensual pornography are not uniform, with each state having its specific statutes and penalties. For instance, in Arizona, distributing a nude depiction without consent is a class 5 felony, upgraded to a class 4 felony if the person is recognizable. This can lead to sentences ranging from six months to three years in prison. (FindLaw, 2019).

In Illinois, nonconsensual dissemination of private sexual images is treated as a class 4 felony. Offenders can face one to three years in prison and fines up to $25,000. Illinois also provides civil remedies for victims, allowing them to recover economic and punitive damages (FindLaw, n.d.).

States like Delaware categorize violations involving nonconsensual pornography as class A misdemeanours, punishable by up to one year in jail and a $2,300 fine, or class G felonies if aggravating factors are present, which can result in up to five years in prison (FindLaw, n.d.). Similarly, in Florida, first offences are treated as first-degree misdemeanours, while subsequent offences can be classified as third-degree felonies, with penalties including up to five years in prison and fines (FindLaw, n.d.).

In Hawaii, nonconsensual disclosure of intimate images is treated as a class C felony, punishable by up to five years in prison and fines up to $10,000. Idaho treats similar violations as felonies, with penalties of up to five years in prison and fines of up to $50,000 (FindLaw, n.d.).

Case Studies and Effectiveness

Legal challenges, enforcement issues, and the scope of laws significantly impact how well these statutes protect individuals. For example, the case of Arizona highlights how legal ambiguity and challenges can stall the implementation of protective measures (FindLaw, 2019).

The distribution networks for revenge porn often exploit loopholes and federal protections like the Communications Decency Act, which limits the liability of platforms hosting such content. This federal law can undermine state efforts to control the dissemination of nonconsensual pornography, as seen in various high-profile cases where victims struggled to remove their images from online platforms (Jeong, 2022).

In some states, initial offences might result in misdemeanour charges, which might not serve as a strong deterrent for repeat offenders. In Georgia, for instance, first offences are treated as aggravated misdemeanours, but subsequent offences can be elevated to felonies with significantly harsher penalties, indicating a tiered approach to deterrence and punishment (FindLaw, n.d.).

Broader Implications and the Need for Comprehensive Reform

The disparity in state laws underscores the need for a more unified and comprehensive approach to combat nonconsensual pornography. Advocacy groups argue for stronger federal laws that can effectively address the challenges posed by digital platforms and cross-state distribution. Additionally, there is a call for laws that not only punish offenders but also provide clear avenues for victims to seek redress and have their images removed from the internet.

Educational initiatives are also crucial in addressing the root causes of nonconsensual pornography. Raising awareness about the legal consequences and promoting respectful digital behaviour can help prevent these incidents.

A comprehensive approach would also involve improving the technological measures available to victims. For example, developing tools and services that can help victims track down and remove nonconsensual content more efficiently could significantly mitigate the harm caused. Legal frameworks should support these technological advancements by ensuring that victims have the legal right to demand the removal of such content swiftly and effectively.

International Perspectives

Looking at international responses can also provide valuable insights. Some countries have implemented more stringent measures against nonconsensual pornography, which can serve as models for reform in the United States. For instance, the United Kingdom has made significant strides with the Criminal Justice and Courts Act 2015, which criminalizes the sharing of private sexual images without consent and imposes severe penalties.

In conclusion, while many states have enacted laws to criminalize nonconsensual pornography, the effectiveness of these laws varies, and significant challenges remain. A combination of stronger legislation, improved enforcement, and comprehensive victim support is necessary to address this complex issue effectively. By looking both within and outside the United States, lawmakers can craft more effective responses to ensure that victims of nonconsensual pornography receive the protection and justice they deserve.

References

• FindLaw. (n.d.). State Revenge Porn Laws. Retrieved from FindLaw.
• FindLaw. (2019). Arizona AG Agrees to Stay Enforcement of ‘Revenge Porn’ Law. Retrieved from FindLaw.

Jeong, S. (2022, September 29). Legal protections for revenge porn victims are still a work in progress. The Guardian. Retrieved from The Guardian

“I know people who seem nice but gossip about me behind my back. They are such hypocrites, it’s depressing. Being confrontational hasn’t worked.”

Rise above the fray. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on the petty gossip that many people participate in, whether they are gossiping about you or others.

People often gossip out of boredom or envy. Thus, Oscar Wilde said, The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

This is one of the situations in life where you must create a mental barrier around your feelings. If you become confrontational, fearful, or humiliated by gossip, you increase your vulnerability and give those who gossip power over you. Ignore them and you take away their power. Don’t be hostile, but don’t allow yourself to dwell on what they are saying.

Focus on more positive, interesting people and activities. There are many people in this world who have adequate self-worth and are too busy living their lives to have any time or desire for malicious gossip. Keep your eye out for these people and find activities that you are passionate about.

If you have to engage with people who are prone to gossip, maintain a casual, even somewhat friendly but unconcerned attitude. Convey a lack of interest in what they are saying by simply ignoring them, but avoid acting superior. Thus, you will maintain your dignity and inner strength without giving up your power or provoking more hostility.

Above all, the best way to stay above the banality of scandal-mongering is to maintain a sense of humor, as expressed by Vanna Bonta’s attitude:

Gossip can be entertaining: occasionally, I’ve heard the most fascinating things about myself I never knew.

By Dr. Alison Poulsen

Embracing the gracious gift of gratitude.

• Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional state often resulting from a lack of social relationships.
• Some people seek social contact when they feel lonely, others self-isolate.
• Gratitude is an emotional antidote for loneliness.

Source: Silvestre Leon / Pixabay

Loneliness is a negative emotional state most people experience on occasion, some more frequently than others. Prompted by separation due to death or divorce, isolation or illness, the experience is ubiquitous, and for some people, can be overwhelming. I have previously written about the role of social support in alleviating loneliness,[i] which remains an important part of the equation. But there is some additional good news in terms of how to improve mood. Research explains.

The Gift of Gratitude

James B. Hittner and Calvin D. Widholm (2024) explored the link between gratitude and loneliness,[ii] and found some positive results. They describe gratitude in social terms, as a positive emotion recognizing the benefits that others have bestowed upon them, as compared with loneliness, which is an unpleasant emotion prompted by a perceived lack of social connection.

Hittner and Widholm remind us that gratitude is important for maintaining social connections, increasing relationship satisfaction, and perhaps not surprisingly, even improving physical health. They describe gratitude as a transitory emotional state as well as an individual trait—conceptualizing trait gratitude as the tendency to “notice and appreciate benefits and recognize anything in the world with grateful behavior.”

Hittner and Widholm describe loneliness, in contrast, as an unpleasant emotional state resulting from a discrepancy between social relationships that are desired versus personally experienced. They recognize loneliness as subjective, separate from the actual amount of social interaction. Some people seek social relationships when they feel lonely, although Hittner and Widholm note that higher levels of loneliness are linked with a higher level of social isolation, as well as increased depression, higher cognitive deficits, cardiovascular health risks, a depressed immune system, and perhaps not surprisingly, earlier mortality.

Expanding on the significance of social network, Hittner and Widholm note that changes in social network quantity or quality can predispose someone toward loneliness. They note that a decrease in quantity is linked with social loneliness, and reduction to network quality is associated with emotional loneliness.

The key then, is to learn how to enhance the experience of gratitude, which should reduce feelings of loneliness. Thankfully, gratitude research also contains some practical takeaways.

Try This at Home: Practicing Positive Perception

Hittner and Widholm describe the main finding from their meta-analysis as an inverse proportion between gratitude and loneliness. Simply put, grateful people are less lonely. To improve mood by swinging the balance, Hittner and Widholm suggest participating in a daily “three good things exercise,” listing three positive things experienced every day, and how they appeared to have happened. When the list items are socially or interpersonally focused, Hittner and Widholm predict gratitude for relationships will increase, and loneliness will decrease.

Gratitude Is the Gift that Keeps on Giving

Embracing the power of thankfulness, gratitude benefits everyone involved. Thanking someone for anything, however small, is a powerful relational connector that is often underestimated. Try it. Both the giver and receiver of an expression of gratitude enjoy an emotional boost. And sometimes just the intentional exercise of recognizing the good things every day, is a step in the right direction leading from self-imposed solitude to social satisfaction.

References

[i] Best Way to Overcome Loneliness

[ii] Hittner, James B., and Calvin D. Widholm. 2024. “Meta‐analysis of the Association between Gratitude and Loneliness.” Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, May. doi:10.1111/aphw.12549.

About the Author

Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Why Bad Looks Good, Red Flags, and co-author of the revised New York Times bestseller Reading People.

Online:

 wendypatrickphd.com, Facebook, X, LinkedIn, Instagram

Are you a Mental Care Practitioner? 

Sign up here