How to Avoid Reacting in Anger By Wendy Patrick J.D., M.Div., Ph.D. 

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A simple method of cooling your emotional temperature.

  • Failure to suppress anger can compromise interpersonal relationships, even within families.
  • Physical disposal of written angry feelings can help neutralize anger.
  • Retaining written feelings of anger may not reduce negative emotion.

When conversation gets heated, sometimes tempers flare. Whether rhetoric turns controversial, antagonistic, or critical, people can become resentful and defensive. Some people are offended not during a conversation, but upon learning after the fact what someone else said about them. Yet because adversity is unfortunately a part of life, the question becomes not how to avoid it, but how to deal with the feelings. The key to managing anger may be as simple as “disposing” of it. Research explains.

kinkate/Pixabay

Source: kinkate/Pixabay

Reducing Anger to Avoid Reacting

Many people describe themselves as level-headed or mild-mannered. That is, until provoked. From the classroom to the boardroom to your living room, disagreements happen. The key is knowing how to avoid acting on emotion.

Yuta Kanaya and Nobuyuki Kawai (2024) explored methods of eliminating anger stemming from provocation.[i] They began by acknowledging the importance of suppressing anger in day-to-day living, because as everyone is aware, failure to do so can compromise interpersonal relationships, even within families. They note that failure to reduce anger can lead to rumination where someone repeatedly thinks about a provocative event. They note that such self-immersed, experiential rumination can cause someone to relive past provocation, thereby maintaining or increasing subjective feelings of anger as well as associated vascular responses.

Against a backdrop of research examining effective strategies of neutralizing or suppressing anger, Kanaya and Kawai found that physical disposal of a piece of paper that contains a person’s written feelings about the cause of a provocative event neutralizes feelings of anger, while merely holding the paper containing the written feelings did not.

Kanaya and Kawai had study participants author brief opinions about social issues, after which they each received a handwritten, insulting comment that contained a negative evaluation of their composition. Participants then wrote down the cause as well as their thoughts and feelings about the provocative event. Kanaya and Kawai then had half of the participants (referred to as the disposal group) throw away the paper in a trash can or shredder, while the other half of participants retained the file on their desk. They found that while all participants experienced an increased feeling of anger after receiving the insulting feedback, the subjective level of anger for the disposal group decreased down to the baseline period, while the retention group remained higher than baseline. Apparently, as demonstrated by Kanaya and Kawai, disposing of a tangible memorialization of the experience of anger can also dispose of the negative sentiment. They described their method as a powerful yet simple way to eliminate anger.

Kanaya and Kawai conclude that their study showcases a convenient new strategy for eliminating subjective anger, offering a cost-effective method of eliminating anger in a variety of situations, including everything from childcare to business meetings, as well as clinical applications. From managing daily stressors to engaging in behavioral therapies, this method can be useful and successful in helping people suppress anger, which will benefit personal emotional health as well as interpersonal relationships.

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References

[i] Kanaya, Yuta, and Nobuyuki Kawai. “Anger Is Eliminated with the Disposal of a Paper Written Because of Provocation.” Scientific Reports [London], vol. 14, no. 1, no. 7490, April 2024,

About the Author

Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D.

Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Why Bad Looks GoodRed Flags, and co-author of the revised New York Times bestseller Reading People.

Online:

 wendypatrickphd.comFacebookXLinkedInInstagram


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