Here are some Stupid Exercise Moves Ranked
It’s about feeling strong enough to grapple with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and triumph hypothetically. A solid workout is the elixir of endorphins for your intricate human machinery, comprising a network of ligaments, muscles, bones, and blood. Yet, let’s face it, some exercise moves are, for lack of a better term, just plain stupid.
As I reluctantly hit play on yet another at-home workout video, I often exclaim, “Really?!” or question the physical possibility of specific exercises. My relationship with exercises like burpees and mountain climbers has evolved from disgust to tolerance, akin to my begrudging acceptance of barre classes. But some exercises seem to push the bounds of reason.
The Hall of Shame: Exercise Moves
Most of these questionable exercises involve jumping – the kind that doesn’t require any fancy equipment. I’ve managed a successful tuck jump maybe twice in my lifetime. It’s a high-knee jump demanding a burst of momentum, a quality I seldom possess. Then there’s the donkey kick. Picture this: down on all fours, attempting to kick your legs up high without a face-plant, mimicking a donkey. When the instructor cheerfully demands, “Donkey kicks for 30 seconds!” I firmly opt for a more reasonable alternative, like jumping in place.
Now, let’s dive into the ranking of the most absurdly stupid exercise moves, based on my very scientific and objective criteria of personal dislike and impracticality.
- Two-Leg Donkey Kicks: This exercise is at the top of my list for its uncanny ability to make anyone look utterly ridiculous. It’s a balancing act that seems to defy the laws of physics and common sense.
- Tuck Jumps: These require an explosive energy that my body reserves strictly for emergencies, like running for the last bus. The aftermath usually involves questioning my life choices.
- Box Jumps: Here, you’re expected to leap onto a box from a standing position. It’s all fun and games until you miss the box and earn some battle scars.
- Turkish Get-Up / Any Get-Up Move: This move is a confusing blend of standing up, lying down, and wondering why you’re not just taking a nap.
- The Barre Move, Where You Pulse One Leg Up Behind You: This exercise is a deceptive beast. It looks elegant but soon reveals itself as a torturous test of balance and endurance.
- V-ups: A move that demands you to simultaneously lift your legs and torso to form a ‘V’. It’s like doing a sit-up, but with the added fun of potentially kicking yourself in the face.
- Plank with Shoulder Taps: The instructors always say, “Don’t swivel your hips,” while they effortlessly demonstrate a perfect hip swivel. It’s like rubbing salt in the wound.
- Pistol Squats: This one-legged squat is for those who thought regular squats weren’t challenging enough. It’s a cruel reminder of the laws of gravity.
- Long Jumps: Apparently, this is supposed to remind us of our carefree days on the playground, but all it does is remind me that I’m not a kid anymore.
- Regular Push-Ups: I know, I know, push-ups are a staple. But let’s be honest, they’re as enjoyable as a trip to the dentist.
The Irony of Stupidity
The irony of these exercises isn’t lost on me. They’re designed to push our bodies to their limits to challenge us in new and exciting ways. And while I might call them stupid, a part of me respects their absurdity. They’re a testament to human creativity in physical fitness, a reminder that our bodies can do more than we give them credit for.
Embracing the Absurd
So, while I may roll my eyes at some of these moves, I’ll also begrudgingly admit that they serve a purpose. They’re a humbling experience, a way to test our boundaries, and sometimes, just sometimes, they’re a little bit fun in their ridiculousness.
Whether we love or hate these exercises, they play a role in our fitness journeys. They challenge, frustrate, and occasionally reward us with a sense of accomplishment. So, here’s to the stupid exercise moves – the ones we love to hate and hate to love. They might be absurd but integral to the chaotic, rewarding fitness world.