First, the narcissist is an emotionally immature person. S/he lacks the tools to see behind an emotion. S/he cannot understand emotion. The narcissist projects his/her feelings and twists and turns things until it fit into his/her narrow worldview and match how s/he feels.
The ways narcissist uses people:
A narcissist changes opinion, behavior, and feelings according to a given person and or a given situation. They hide behind twisted logical reasoning, making others believe they must be perfect and never change. They spread made-up rumors about people, known as the smear campaign.
The people who follow the narcissists and refuse to see their rhetoric are called flying monkeys. The Narcissist is adept at using people. Keeping people around who see the narcissist as kind or nice is key to their survival. Flying monkeys are happy to spread rumors without thought to the ‘victim’.
When they sense their relationship is in danger, they make more “mischief”. But if they feel someone is on to them, they fly into the rage. S/he will start many misconceptions and will be very criticizing. Words will fly: s/he is crazy or unstable. They take on the victim role to gain compassion (excessively ill, challenging “environment”, heavy workload, etc.). They say logical and coherent things, while their attitudes, behaviors, and lifestyles say the opposite.
Narcissists use other people’s moral and ethical principles to satisfy their needs. A narcissist’ person will never admit fault. Caught in a lie they will suddenly change the topic during a discussion. They use flattery to make people happy, and they give presents. They resort to lies to get the truth out (instead of asking outright), distort, and interpret. Blame-shifting and projecting are in their arsenal. You may be surprised to hear how others think of you.
Narcissists feel jealousy, of a parent, spouse, or child. The narcissist does not necessarily have to use physical abuse. It can also be psychological: verbal abuse, lies, emotional blackmail and neglect, lack of care, double messages, domineering techniques, emotional violence, and humiliating behavior.
Narcissist’s relatives often fall into the trap of explaining themselves. When you decide to leave the narcissist person, they become more active. Usually, the narcissist has other sources of selfish access. If you were the main source, as in a spouse, a child, or someone else very close, the narcissist would go through a “process” of missing you. They may reach out and try to convince you that they will change. They may try to stay connected to you or stay in your life. However, this only lasts for a short time.
How to help yourself:
The most popular method to help yourself is called: “Gray Rock”. This is because a gray rock is easily blended into an environment – yet, it is vital. Try to use this against a narcissist’s personality. This way, you can maneuver out of a situation with a narcissist. Keep it as a tool in your quest for self-preservation. It saves on your energy and lets them wind themselves up. You just have to change your instinctive reaction to challenge and argue with them not to react at all. To act like a Gray Rock is to give them no response, anger, or argument– nothing.
Think of this game: Gray rock method is like playing the game Freeze! When someone yells freeze you don’t move, but only for your face. Show zero emotions on your face. You are not happy, you are not mad, you are not sad. You are just there. You give the Narcissist NOTHING to feed from. You give yes or no answers, and you don’t give full sentences or explain yourself in any way.
If you meet him in person, avoid conversations other than necessary facts. When he tries to press your buttons for a reaction, take a deep breath, and give him nothing. It is difficult at first but necessary for him to be forced to give up and look for a new victim elsewhere.
Remember narcissists’ are looking for attention, positive or negative. When they are emotional, bragging, lying, complaining, throwing fits, or whatever, you must not react. Practice responding in a calm and even manner. Don’t act shocked, impressed, scared, or hurt. Give as little information about yourself as necessary. If there is no need for a response, do not give one. Walk away. Ignore them. When you consistently respond in this way, they will (hopefully) lose interest in you.
Do not make the mistake of trying to get revenge, just like someone with nothing to lose. S/he will make you lose.
The articles on Fitnesshacksforlife.org website is provided for reference purposes only, A public resource you can use for free. You should not take them as the sole source of medical direction. Fitnesshacksforlife.org does not accept payments or incentives from any of the individuals or organizations named in the articles, and the articles are not an endorsement of those parties or their products or practices. Do not ever disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in any manner seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on our site or social media. Fitness Hacks For Life is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, eligible to receive donations under the laws of the United States of America.
Understanding Narcissistic Behaviors in Relationships Narcissistic behaviors can profoundly affect interpersonal dynamics. Understanding these traits is crucial for emotional well-being.
Research on stalking reveals the fuel that kindles dangerous fire. A critical factor underlying the persistence of stalking behavior is
Why you can’t just do it, and what to do instead You are Not Lazy or Undisciplined. You Have Internal
If you feel suicidal, call or text the helpline: 988
