Unrequited Love: How to Heal, Cope and Finally Move On

Unrequited love always gives that aching feeling in the chest. “Do they love me back?” The question that flickers hope and crush your heart at the same time. Your feelings are valid, you love them but what if it is one-sided!

We have counseled many individuals with this heartache as a dating expert and one we know is it’s not easy! The first step is always hard but never impossible. Therefore, this article will help you explore what unrequited love is, how to heal, cope, and finally move on from it.

Acknowledge the Pain of Unrequited Love

You first need to understand why this requited love hurts. These feelings are rather intense since you find yourself thinking about this one person. Neuroscience says the brain processes romantic pain almost the same as physical pain. That’s why you often feel isolated, scared and dull when you think of the pain but next minute you feel butterflies in your stomach just to see them.

It is ok to feel pain, it is ok to grieve. But letting it go will help you in getting hope for future love and dream relationship you always wanted.

The 5-Step Path to Healing and Moving On

It can be a long healing process from unrequited love but all it needs is self-control and self-care during this time. Here are some steps that will help:

1.   Practice Acceptance

Acceptance is the first step in healing from unrequited love. You need to understand the cues that the other person doesn’t feel the same way about you. This is the first step towards healing yet a crucial one too.

2.   Grant Yourself Permission to Feel (The No-Contact Rule)

Stop being in content with them whether it is physical or through phone. This rule will help you break the cycle. It’s like every interaction with them spark this love feeling in you. The no-contact rule helps your brain and heart to detach and give time to healing.

Set a duration for zero communication, It can be a month or two or six. No calling, no meetups, no any kind of communication with them. Unfollow them from social media. In short, cut ties!

3.   Rewrite the Narrative in Your Mind

Writing down what is going on in your mind is a powerful tool towards healing. We suggest writing down a list of qualities both good and bad of the person. Their flaws will help you balance their image you had in mind.

Then start writing how you lost the love of your life and found new qualities in you. This will help shift the narrative of being a victim to empowerment.

4.   Reclaim Your Energy and Identity

During this time reflect on your needs,energy and identity. What do you want to do? Have a self-care routine, sleep enough, eat well, do some exercise, socialize, engage yourself into new hobbies. Or rekindle old hobbies.

How about the activity you wanted to experience and try for so long. It’s time for you to break your isolation shell and be free. Spend time with people who make you feel loved.

5.   Create New, Positive Associations

Anything place or routine that reminds you of the person then changes it. It can be a song, a place like a cafe or when the road that you bumped into each other. Change to routine to change the course of your life.

Trying creating new memories with your friends and family. Have a small getaway, explore new places in the city or the town. Focus on new happy memories.

6.   Look Forward, And When to Date Again

An immediate replacement of an intimate partner can help you a lot. Once you feel that sharp pain has been replaced with joy and excitement for the future, open yourself up to try dating.

But we suggest do not rush yourself. Take small steps, look at dating as an opportunity of socializing, not a desperate attempt to force someone or yourself to fill the void. You deserve better, you own that. Therefore, have time for yourself and your future partner to be healed and bring your whole heart to the table.

Final Thoughts

Unrequited love makes you feel like it is the end of the world but honestly is the beginning of self-discovery and resilience. After sometime you will feel empowered and know exactly what you truly deserve.

Love can never be a source of stress, anxiety and sadness, it is empowering when you have a charming and encouraging partner. Such a partner will heal with you, laugh with you and see your worth even in the grey parts of life.

Stay optimistic and let your heart be free for healing and loving again!