Five Ways A Narcissist Gaslights You

1. “I was only joking.”

I frequently encounter the phrase, “I was only joking,” used to excuse hurtful or unacceptable behavior. People often say mean things or engage in unkind actions, then brush it off as a joke. This tactic is manipulative and can make others feel like they’re overreacting for expressing their feelings, whether they’re upset, angry, or offended. It’s essential to acknowledge this behavior for what it’s and not let it undermine our legitimate responses.

2. “Poor you.”

Narcissistic individuals often downplay the challenges you’re facing. When they want to be abusive, they minimize your experiences, making it feel as though what you’re going through is insignificant. If you’ve had a tough day or are simply seeking empathy, they might respond with dismissive comments like, “Oh, poor you,” because they lack the capacity for genuine empathy. Unfortunately, they won’t extend the understanding and compassion you deserve during difficult times. We all deserve empathy at times; we all face challenges, and sometimes we just need someone to sit with us and acknowledge what we’ve been through. Instead, if narcissists are feeling hurt or vindictive, they will often make hurtful remarks like these.

3. “Oh, you’re such a victim.”

, When they express these sentiments, it’s important to understand that they genuinely are victims of these individuals, as narcissists possess deeply flawed personalities. Their perspective on the world is distorted, and the people around them often suffer as a result. Therefore, when they claim, “Oh, you’re such a victim,” it significantly downplays the extent of the abuse that individuals involved with narcissists frequently endure.

4. “You’re too fat.” “You’re Thin”

Statements like “That doesn’t look good on you,” “You’re overweight,” and “Are you gaining weight, you have lost too much weight ?” are very common among narcissists. It’s interesting because when you ask the narcissists about these comments, they genuinely believe it’s their right or duty to say such things to others.

They don’t fully grasp how much they are trying to control the person they’re addressing and influence their emotions. Often, their hurtful comments stem from deep-seated rage about the other person’s appearance, or they simply want to inflict pain by saying things they know will cause deep emotional distress.

5. “You’re crazy.” THIS should be number one! 

Ever heard my crazy ex? She was crazy !

A similar, but distinctly different phrase is, “If only people knew how crazy you are.” This statement serves as a subtle threat to expose someone by implying, “I want to tell everyone about your instability,” suggesting that if others knew the truth about you, they would not accept you and would reject you. It’s a tactic used to make people feel insecure about themselves, compelling them to feel closer to the narcissist, as they fear being ostracized. The thoughts that might arise include, “What if I really am that crazy?” or “What if people truly wouldn’t like me?”